Missing you
by PastaLoverTortuga
Summary: I wish I could just tell Lovino how I feel, but that's impossible, he would never love me the same way. At least we can be friends, even if I want to be more. W-wait what is he doing here! N-no! Please, don't! ((Hahaha yah I hope that was a good enough summery without gibing away too mush. This is a SPAMANO fanfic, please enjoy my first fanfic with my OTP))
1. Antonio Loves

:-:-:Antonio:-:-:

The more I think about him, the more I want him. I can't think that no matter how much I want to. I will say, I, Antonio Fernandez Carriando, am an idiot. It's been years since Lovino and I become friends, or more like since I met him and called him my friend. I was only 16 at the time, or should I say, my age seemed to be 16. I'm a country so my age is old, but we try to go by age appearance. My little amigo, Lovino, looked 10 at the time. I am the country of Spain, and my friend he is Romano, the South part of Italy. I tried to be his friend too, but I don't think he likes me as a friend.

We have been though so much over the years. When Lovino was little he had a weird twitch, a disease called Chorea, that made him drop a lot of things, but I tried to help him. I made him dance every day to try and help him control it. It was hard to do when my boss, the king of Spain, told me I had to go to other lands and claim them as Spanish colonies, in a way making me a pirate. My pirate days were hard for Lovino and me. Most of the time that I was home, which wasn't often, I had to stay in bed because I was injered or sick, or I had to tend to my large tomato farm, but I spent every moment I can with him. I don't know if it worked but after a long time his twitch wasn't as bad and his chorea seemed to slowly go away. I still try and make him dance sometimes, just because he is so good at it and its a way I can spend time with him.

Lovino now looks to be about 16 now, and I look like I got stuck at 20. But after all these years with Lovino, I feel like I'm starting to have other feelings for him… I'm so old compared to him, there's no way….. What am I talking about? I can't say I don't feel differently about Lovino. Ever since he started to get older I've been finding myself want to get closer and closer to him. But... it will never be the way I want it to be...

Today, I think I will ask Lovino to dance again. He normally doesn't mind, and he seems to like more then he would admit it, especially when I play the guitar as he danced. So I woke up early and went straight to the tomato fields. I picked enough tomatoes just for the two of us. Lovino's favorite food is tomatoes. Then I went to wake him.

I knock on his door and yell so he can hear me, "Lovi, are you up yet?! I thought we could do something together today!"

I heard a groan and a few signs of life come from the other side of the door, then a yell back, "Fuck off tomato bastardo, I'm trying to sleep!"

"Pero today will be so much fun, and I have your favorite, Tomatoes!" as soon as I said that I heard a jump from the bed and clothing being put on, then the door flung open.

"Where are the tomatoes?!" Lovino looked at me only for the location of the tomatoes. His dark brown-red hair was a mess, with the same curl that never stayed down, but his hazel eyes are just as beautiful as ever.

"They're in the dance room, I thought we could do some dance stuff today, like when you were younger. Doesn't that sound like fun?!" I smiled hoping Lovi wanted to dance.

Lovino sighed, but the look on his face told me he really wanted to dance, and seemed very happy that I asked him to. "Fine, what ever bastardo. As long as I get my tomatoes."

My face lit up, and I took Lovino's hand dragging him to the biggest room in the house, the dance room. "Vamos, Lovi, Vamos!"

When we reach the room, Lovino goes stairght for the tomatoes and eats his share of them. I sit next to him and we watch the birds fly around and play in the bird bath eating the fresh tomatoes.

When the tomatoes where gone I grabbed my guitar, strumming it a few times to make sure I don't have tune it. It sounded nice, Lovino always liked to listen and and watch me play ever since the day we met. After a practice song I look at Lovino, and ask "Are you ready to dance?"

"Sì, bastardo. I streached while you were playing your stupid guitar," Lovi tryed to make it look like he didn't want to dance, but I could tell he love to.

"Bueno, then let's start."

Lovino started with the first dance I taught him, the Tarantella. Every step was perfection, sometimes a small smile came to his face when he got to the moves that where hard for him in the past. I played the song, not missing a note. We've had lots of practice over the years. I played many different songs, sometimes getting up and dancing with Lovi as I played them. When lunch came I stopped, and Lovino rested on the ground.

"Why d-did you stop, you b-bastardo? I was ki-kicking ass," Lovino was breathing loudly as he spoke, and seem to be out of breath and in need of a good rest.

I laugh, only partly out of breath myself, "Well its lunch time, and I'm sure you would love some more tomatoes, Sí? And I can make some churro y jamón." I gave Lovi a smile, and started to walk to the kitchen, Lovino caught his breath and followed.

In the kitchen I got all the food together and made it for our lunch, and a huge mess on the tables. Once all the food was done, the air was filled with the sent of Spanish food like a restaurant in Madrid. After cleaning my mess, I sat down next to Lovino, putting the food in front of us.

"I hope you like it, Lovino!" I smiled wide waiting for a responce.

"Yah, yah, what ever bastardo..." Lovino just muttered as he took a churro and nibbled on it.

When all the food was in our tummies we went to our own rooms to nap. Our naps take us about one or two hours.

The only problem with naps is the fact that I never wake up before Lovino. When he was younger he would wake me up in the mornings and I would have to wake him up after the nap, now it is the other way around. Lovino loves to find different was to wake me up, I guess a headbutt in the tomatoes got old. Lovino disused today he was going to poke my face to wake me up, a much nicer way then normal. Every part of my face twiched when he poked it, I could hear him snikering every time he did it.

I finally turn over and smile, still not opening my eyes, "¿Sí?"

"Time to get up bastardo. I'm going to show you how a real man dances," Lovino smirked as if trying to make it seem like he was all that.

"Okay, okay, Señor Real Man. I'm getting up," I said in a softer, more tired voice then normal. I tuned my head and pulled the covers over my face.

Lovino wasn't going to take my laziness today, he pulled the covers off the bed and put his hands on his hips. "I said get up you bastardo!"

I rolled off the bed and stood up, then look at Lovi with a smile, "And I said I was getting up," my voice slowly sounding more awake, yet I was still waking up and a little dizzy from getting up too fast. Even so I was happy seeing, Lovino. He always makes me happy as soon as I see those beautiful hazle eyes looking at me.

"Whatever you tomato picking bastard, come on, i don't know how to play guitar and i need music when I dance," Lovi was so cute complaining like that, his face turing a shade of red. He looked like a tomato. "What are you smiling about you jerk bastard?!"

You're so cute, Lovino, and I love it when you show me how much you really love to dance. "Oh nada, Lovi. Now come on, sense you want to dance so badly. You can dance for me," I giggled as I started to run down the hall, laughing and looking back to see if he was fallowing me.

"I-I don't do it for you, I dance for my own reasons, bastard." Lovino walked after me, he doesn't like running, so he never really did.

Today day was fantástico. We danced together for the rest of the day! I love seeing Lovi dance with his perfect ways of moving around the floor, his messy hair all over the place, his red face when he messed up one step, his hazle eyes lighting up like the most beautiful of stars... Damn it there I go again, I need to stop myself, there is no way Lovino would ever... Before going to bed we had some leftovers for dinner. I dreamed of being able to love Lovino, all night. Too bad thay will never happen.


	2. Lovino's Night

:-:-:Lovino:-:-:

I woke up in the middle of the night again, breathing quickly. I had that dream again, the one with him in it... Damnit you tomato bastard why won't you get out of my head! Why do I have all these stupid dreams about you?! I haven't slept well for the longest of time. I can't stop thinking about him... If I'll lose him when he's at sea, he'll leave me because he doesn't want me any more, or if that damn bastard would l- love... Damn it I need to fucking stop thinking about him...

I turned in my bed hoping to fall asleep again, but all I could do is think about how much I loved yesterday. Toni hadn't asked me to dance in long time and I had practiced without him in secrate. He seems happy when I dance in front of him, and the tomatoes were as good as they always are, the best tomatoes are Antonio's tomatoes. Don't you dare take that the wrong fucking way, damnit! A-and its n-not that I want to make the tomato bastard happy, I-I just like the tomatoes he gives me... A-and don't think of that in a perverted way you bastard!

Its almost three in the morning and I still can't sleep. I get up to use the bathroom, the same one that for the longest of time I couldn't find. But I didn't pee in my own damn bed it was the bastardo squirrels, sneeking into my room and pee-peeing all over my bed. The bastards finally stopped doing that after I found the damn bathroom...

On my way back, I started to walk past Antonino's room, more like I stoped to look to see if he was asleep. He looks so nice and warm in his bed l. For a moment I watched him sleep, peacefully undisturbed, beautiful... what the fuck?! Why am I thinking of this? Its not like I l-love him...

I look once more and can't help but walk over to him and get a better look of his face. It was so bello, peaceful, I just want to ki-

Antonio's eye's slowly opened, and I froze in fear. S-shit move you bastardo! It was too late, he sees me.

"Hola, Lovi," Antonio yawned out the words. I stay quiet, not knowing what to say. Toni smiled, "what is it, Lovi? Did you have a bad dream?"

Sì! A way out! I tryed my best to look sad, and nod yes. It must have worked because the tomato bastard got out of bed and hugged me.

"Oh, Lovi, lo siento. You know what, you can sleep with me like you did when you where younger. That way I'll be there to comfort you if you have another bad dream, sí?" Damn tomato bastard, making me seem like I'm still just a kid, and that damn nick name he gave me, is that all he'll ever see me as, a kid...?

"Okay, y-you bastard..." I did my best to keep up the act, which still seemed like it worked well. At least this way I won't have to sleep alone in my cold room. I can let Toni snuggle me and he won't know how I feel. N-not that I have strong feelings for the bastard, I-I just like to be uhhh... damn it... grr w-what ever, I don't have to exsplain myself to you bastards!

Toni smiled at me as I crawl into bed, next to him. You can tell he was still half asleep. I curl into a ball with almost all the blankets, almost forcing the Spaniard to spoon me. His arms are so warm around me, I feel so wanted, and happy. N-not that he made me happy I-I was just happy not to be cold anymore.

It didn't take long for me to fall into a deep, comfortable, sleep. I'm happy, but can I stay happy like this? Its hard thinking that I could never tell Antonio how I feel...


	3. Grazie

:-:-:Antonio:-:-:

I wake up to find a cute little Italian in my arms, he was snuggleing my chest, not that I really mind that, in fact I liked it, it was comfortable. I almost forgot Lovi said he had a bad dream last night and I offered my comfort. That was such a nice sleepy time. He must have slept well after I let him share my bed with me last night. Eso es fantástico!

I wathed Lovino sleeping for a moment. His brown hair is a complete mess, and he looks so cute. His face looks so beautiful, as always, and his lips, so soft I wish i could just... What am I thinking?! Bad Antonino! Man I really should learn to keep myself under control.

"Merrrr..." Lovino grawled, turning so he was on top of me.

"L-Lovi...!" I say trying to wake him up.

"Whaaaa...?"

"Time to wake up, and get off of boss."

He looked at me blushing the shade of a perfect tomato, "what ever bastard, leave me to sleep." He pulled the covers over his head, not moving.

I sighed, "Lovino, if you don't get up you can't have any tomatoes ever again."

"What?! That is so not fair!" He almost jumped up over me, his face still red, but this time I know it is because he's angery.

"Sí, it is. So get up now or you'll never have another tomato."

"Fine! Bastard..." Lovino got out of bed saying something about me under his breath, but that's okay he always shows me how much he hates me...

I got up myself and grab two clean shirts from a table next to the bed, I put one on and throw the other at Lovino. I smile at him, "You can put that on to wear till you get to your room and get your own clothes on."

"Whatever, bastardo!" Lovino took the shirt and put it on, it was really big on him, but it was so adorable.

Walked to the bathroom to splash some water in my face. When i looked in the mirror i saw my hair brown was still a mess, but I never really brush it unless I'm going to get a hair cut, I had the same plain shirt I put on earlyer and black pants that i sliped on before i left my room. I thought again of Lovino, he looked so cute this morning, all tired and trying to get me to let him sleep more. His beautiful dark drown hair a biger mess then mine, yet that one little curl still out perfectly. And his eyes were as beautiful as always, I always seem to get lost in his hazel eyes. I wish I could just tell him that I... but I can't. I sigh and walk to the kitchen to make some food.

After I made food for Lovino and me, I waited for him to come in the dinning room. It took a wile but Lovi finally come in. He was most likely following the smell of his favoite coffie and the eggs, right next to bread with butter and jelly on it, and finally a big red tomato, Lovi's favorite wake up meal. I look at him once and I can't stop myself from laughing. Not a mean one, kind of like a girl giggling but I can't really do that with my voice, its a little too deep. He was wearing my shirt! He tucked it in and he look so cute! It was like looking at my old matador outfit. Lovino made it look way better then I could have ever looked.

"What are you laughing at you bastard!" Romano's voice pulled me right back to the real world.

I laughed a little more then managed to say, "oh, nada, Sr. Matador. ¿Dondé está el toro?"

Lovino's face turned tomato red. "I'm not a fucking bull fighter, bastard! I just... wanted to try a new look."

I smile, "I was just joking, Lovi, you look muy guapo today."

"Whatever, bastardo, where's the food?"

"Its right there, Lovi. I hope you like it, I made your favorite!" I keep smiling at him, he's just so cute!

Lovino whispered, "G-grazie..."

I knew not to answer, he wouldn't admit that he said it. I'm sure he knew I was thankful that he liked everything I did for him by the ways I looked at him every time he said that. I learned a long time ago that is better to give Romano a look of thankfulness, rather then say thank you. I also picked up enough Italian to understand what he said when he spoke his language. Of course, Lovino can understand and speak my language just as well as he can his own. I love the very few times that Lovino spoke my language, it makes me so happy.

When we finished eating, I stared to go out to the tomato fields to pick some more tomatoes for latter. But one of the guards ran up to me.

"What's the problem, Sr.?" I asked hoping it wasn't that bad.

The guard looked worried, you could see the panic in his eyes. He sounds out of breath but manages to give me the news, "They... They come for Romano!"

His words hit me, I became so scared. I push the guard aside not thinking strait. I quickly run for Lovino's room, snatching an axe from the weapon room. I run as fast as I can, opening the door to Romano's room. Dio, please be okay, Lovino!


	4. Bastard

:-:-:-:Lovino:-:-:-:

That damn bastard, I hate him. Always calling me cute, saying all the shit he says, looking so perfe- I-I mean, like a SPANISH PIG!

I go to me room but to tell the truth, I just want a siesta. That bastard will most likely stop and talk to one of those bastard guards for half an hour, which gives me some siesta time. I curl up under my covers that have sadly lost the warmth of last night, and I fall into a soft deep sleep.

I hear a loud yell of pain from not too far away, pulling me right out of my slumber. I look around only to see a guard with blond hair run in. His hair only showed slightly from his helmet, he has a dark beard that was more like a scruff that covered his jaw line, but his eyes were covered. However what he looks like doesn't matter because I know he's just one of the many bastards here.

The guard spoke, but in an accent I had never heard before, "Vamos, Sr Vargas. Boss Carriendo is waiting for you. The enemy has invaded España."

My eyes widen as I heard "enemy". One thing I had always feared is what "Boss" got himself into when he was out at sea. He always came home with a new scare yet he smiled cause he didn't want me to worry, bastard. Of course I worried, I'm not some heartless bastard! I-I mean who else is going to do all the cleaning!? And some bastard has to feed me!

"Where is that bastard and why didn't he just come and tell me himself?" I don't know if I can trust this guard, if any of Antonio's enemies are here. He would have come to get me himself, right? H-he would make sure I'm safe, right?! B-boss cares about me, right...?

"He is looking for the enemy, and ordered me to take you to a safer place for the time being." The guard got closer, and it looks like he would grab me and take me away if I don't agree to go with him, but i'm not going to let that bastard touch me.

"Whatever bastard. If Boss wants me he can get me himself." I glare at him, stand up, ready to run from any attempts of capturing me.

The guard smiles at me, almost demonically and spoke in a different accent all together, proving the accent he was using was fake, "I'm sorry. Mais, mon amis, tu n'as pas un choix."

I take a step closer to the window. "What the fuck?! Mi dicpiace ma, I don't speak stanzo!"

The guard suddenly had a smirk on his face. He took off his helmet reviling the rest of his curly blond hair that brushes his shoulders and his bright blue eyes. "Well you really are the cute spice one of the two brothers, however it doesn't matter if you run, Lovino, I will be taking from here. If I have to use force, well that is all up to you."

"In your dreams, stanzo!" I run as fast as I can to the window, I might break something jumping but I have to chance it. I jump out the window into the court yard, I almost land safely but as soon as I hit the ground I scream, braking my leg with the impact. Damnit this is just what I need. I look up at the window but the blond bastard wasn't there.

"I-I have to get the hell out of here, d-damit! Antonio!" I cry as I drag my body as far as I can go without making my leg worse.

"Mon amis, you are doing nothing but making this easier for me." That bastard was close, I don't look back to see how close.

"Damnit..." I make my way to the edge of the court yard, hitting my broken leg a few times and biting my lip to keep myself from screaming and giving that bastard the pleasure of finding me easily.

"Au revoir."

BANG

"¡T-Toni..!" Everything fades to black...


End file.
